I Love You Like M Butterfly
Clayton Hogermeerl’s song “I Love You Like” conveys a message about deep, undeniable love. It speaks volumes about how love can make you lose yourself. In one of the verses, Clayton states, “I love you like the consequence I know I must reap.” This can be compared to Rene’s obsession with the opera Madame Butterfly and the love and/or infatuation Rene develops for Song while being married. In the end, he indeed reaps the consequences of his actions.
Rene has longed for Song since she performed in his favorite opera, Madame Butterfly, by Giacomo Puccini. That is where he gets the term; in Act 1, scene 13, Gallimard asks Song, “Are you my Butterfly? I want from you honesty, and there should be nothing false between us. No false pride.”, They build a relationship after that night, which grows over time. Song tries hard not to be a stereotypical Asian woman and does not want to admit her feelings for Rene. One night, she writes a letter to him stating that she has already given him her shame. Upon receipt of that letter, Rene confirms that Song does have feelings for him. When he arrives at her apartment, Rene asks Song if she is his butterfly: is she the ideal, beautiful woman who will submit to him? Rene confesses his love and requests for no secrets between them. He is vulnerable with Song and is asking the same of her. Song confesses that he is her first love, not only emotionally but physically. When she finally agrees to be his butterfly, she agrees to succumb to him.
The predictable fantasy is a subservient Asian woman who falls in love with an unkind white man. It’s less appealing to have a short Asian man with a blonde homecoming queen. It is a tale as old as time. Asian women are portrayed as petite, weak, soft-spoken submissive women. At the same time, American white women are depicted as outspoken, beautiful blondes who are smart and do not tolerate any form of cruelty. The scene depicts the societal portrayal of women and men. Short nonwhite men are seen as antagonists, while white men are seen as protagonists. White people generally are not held to the same standards because they are prioritized above other ethnic groups. Also, there is a relevant view of imperialism when it comes to white men because of the country they originate from and the political power they hold. Perceptively speaking, Song accurately captures the scene as intended. The public fetishization of Asian women is not only disheartening but harmful. It can put Asian women in unpredictable, dangerous situations. I have Asian friends who detest the categorization in which they were unwillingly placed.
I love you like the sinner Claiming he was but a pawn. We learn Song is a spy telling comrade Chin details about the increase in troops in Vietnam. Gallimard is her assignment. Toulon and Gallimard discuss how the U.S. will allow the Vietnamese generals to stage a coup and attempt to assassinate President Diem. After all the betrayal and treason, China changes, making it impossible for the Chinese and foreigners to contact. Gallimard’s flat is confiscated. Song’s cover is almost blown when Gallimard requests for her to strip. In an attempt to save face, Song tells Gallimard that she’s pregnant so she wouldn’t have to strip for him and shame herself further. At the end of Scene 7, Gallimard tells Song, “ I could forget all that betrayal in an instant, you know. If you’d just become Butterfly again.” Song replies, “You’re here in prison, rotting in a cell. And I’m on a plane, winging my way back to China. Your President pardoned me of our treason, you know.” Song then reveals to Gallimard that he was her biggest acting challenge.
Clayton Hogermeerl is a 29-year-old singer/songwriter who grew up in a boarding school based in Bombay, India. As a child, he loved to read and write poetry; he started writing songs when he was 17. The song he wants people to listen to is "The Old Man's Gaze," it's an ode about his love for his country, India. He describes his music as "folk, " and his instrument of choice is the acoustic guitar. More recently, he gained popularity from his song "I Love You Like," which was featured as the theme song for Netflix's show The Big Day. As a teen, Clayton listened to artists like Sinead O'Connor, Backstreet Boys, Nirvana, Oasis, and Pink Floyd. But his main musical influences are Bob Dylan, Johnny Cash, and Paul Simon. He categorizes his music as Americana which has influences of "jazz, folk, blues, rock, and country." Clayton is involved in putting musical events together when he is not performing. He has also dedicated his time to building an infrastructure for musicians in India. Clayton states, "There's an opportunity here for us to redefine to the world how music is engaged with and consumed." His primary focus as an artist is to express himself honestly without gaining anything from it. He writes about subjects that are true in his heart.
I believe that Rene was so obsessed with living a fantasy according to an opera that when a fetish presented itself to him, he was blind and could not see that Song was not a natural woman. What he confused as love was lust, a fantasy, an illusion he created in his mind; he gave himself no choice but to try and live out his fantasy in real life. It would eventually cost him his career, wife, and life.
I love you like the stranger Who will never see your flaws. I love you like the wager I must win when all is lost. |
Rene was so obsessed with the Madame Butterfly Opera that he fantasized about an unattainable love; he eventually gave into an illusion that caused him to ignore the “red flags. |
I love you like my fears somewhere hidden deep I keep. I love you like the consequence I know I must reap. I love you like the soldier bleeding by his flag he stood. |
We learn Song is a spy telling comrade Chin details about the increase in troops in Vietnam. Gallimard is her assignment. After all the betrayal and treason. China changes and it becomes impossible for Chinese and foreigners to make contact and Gallimard’s flat is seized. |
I love you like a memory you once thought was lost. I love you like the failures that haunt me in my dreams. |
Rene finally realizes that Song is nothing more than a man posing as a woman this whole time. He played the events that led to this discovery over and over. |
I love you like the risk that suffocates that witch could be. I love you like I love you despite all that is me. |
Song knew every inch of Rene’s desires and played on his fantasy. In the end, Rene finally learns to tell fantasy from reality, yet he still chooses to live a fantasy. |
Works Cited
Britto, David. “Meet Clayton Hogermeer, the Mumbai Musician behind the Big Day’s Viral Title Track.” GQ India, 7 Apr. 2021, www.gqindia.com/entertainment/content/meet-clayton-hogermeer-the-mumbai-musician-behind-the-big-days-viral-title-track.
Hwang, David H, and Giacomo Puccini. M. Butterfly. New York, N.Y: New American Library, 1989. Print.
Jamal, Aaliya. “Know Your Track: Clayton Hogermeer.” Red Bull, 20 Jan. 2022, www.redbull.com/in-en/know-your-track-clayton-hogermeer. ril 2021
https://youtu.be/ayRlXTUXm_g