At midnight on my 18th birthday, I was sitting in a chair while a tattoo gun poised above the back of my neck. As the clock moved from 11:59 to 12:00, the needle hummed to life, vibrating against my skin. Coated in ink, it set to work permanently marking me. It was as if my body were parchment, and the ink came from a quill rather than a needle. My cousin, a year and six days older than me, stood next to me as I gripped her hand, smiling: she was almost laughing at how much of a baby I was. I was so afraid it was going to hurt, and the anticipation set my nerves afire. The tattoo was going to say “STISTIES” in an English-style font atop a triquetra: it’s a Pagan symbol that means eternity or infinity (Fig. 2). Our translation was “sisters forever” and it was our mark, our bond. My cousin already had hers so we could pass the time while we awaited the zero hour. Hers was like mine, and in the same position. We were cousins, not sisters, but we grew up together and acted like siblings. This tattoo told of our sisterhood, even if no one else understood what it meant. It was the first story etched onto my flesh. We all have our own stories to tell, our own lives and experiences. Symbolism and words combine to tell a tale of tragedy, survival, victory, or loss. For better and for worse, my life is written on me in a language that only I understand. However, within this language, there are three types of tattoos or stories: memorials, moments, and meaning. Because I value stories so highly, tattoos are how I tell mine.
Figure 2 This tattoo means "Sisters Forever". I got it at midnight on my 18th birthday along with my cousin.
Memorial tattoos are tributes in memory of someone important in my life who I have lost. Not every significant person has a tattoo to remember them by, but I do have a few examples. I have a hiking boot print on my left inner ankle to honor a blind boyfriend I had in high school. He was a hiker and conquered Mt. Kilimanjaro despite his visual limitations. His name was AJ and he passed away from brain cancer that stole his eyesight. I have another on my left pectoral muscle of a blue elephant to represent a baby boy. Above are the words: “Hades, forever in Elysium” (Waldron). Hades would have been his name. “Forever in Elysium,” in reference to where I believe he resides in his afterlife. Under is written the day I lost him; three days before my birthday in 2015. There are also stories of influential people who I have not inked onto my body. For instance, my grandfather had a bald spot on the back of his head, so he got his only tattoo: a man with a lawnmower. Because of that, where my undercut is, I want to get the same tattoo he had. My left hand already has a tattoo (which will be discussed in another paragraph) but is the first piece in a larger tattoo. I will have the words “rise from the ashes” written there. Last year I found my girlfriend in our bed with a box cutter amidst a red sea two days after my birthday. She was writing a trilogy about a phoenix and that was always what her main character thought when going through tough times. The last tattoo I have that kind of fits in this category is for my daughter. I have her name written in the same place my mom has a tattoo of my name: it’s on the outer right ankle. Except, my tattoo is written in Greek because her name is after a Greek demigoddess. For reasons I won’t go into, she was taken away from me last year as well. Some of these memorials are for people who have died, but one is simply for someone who is no longer in my life. Though I miss them every day, I look at these tattoos and smile because it makes me feel as though I’m not alone.
Figure 3 This is the tattoo I got in honor of my miscarriage. My son's name, followed by something representing "in Heaven forever".
Important moments are another type of tattoo I have. These represent significant moments in my life that have either impacted me greatly or have changed my life completely. As a positive memory, I have my daughter’s name tattooed on my outer right ankle (Fig. 4). Because her name is Greek, I have it written in that language. Hermione is her name. Above the “I” is a red heart because she was born on Valentine’s Day. I got this tattoo on her first birthday, and it means so much to me because it’s in the same place my mother has my name tattooed on her. Because Hermione is no longer with me, the tattoo of her name falls into both categories. Memorial because she is not with me and memory because it reminds me of the day I brought her into this world; it was the happiest day of my life. On the opposite side of the spectrum, I have a tattoo to remember the night I almost ended my life last October. It’s a semicolon on my left hand that’s shaped like a pit bull (Fig. 1). The upper dot has ears, and the lower comma has a dog’s tail. This is not the only symbol I’m going to get on my hand; it’s only part of a bigger piece. To the left of the semicolon, I’ll be getting three ribbons: one green, representing mental health awareness; one green and purple, representing PTSD; and one yellow, representing surviving someone else’s suicide. Below these four symbols, I will have the words, “Rise From The Ashes” written in honor of my late partner whom I found in our bed (Karabutt). She had died by suicide, but her mantra was RFTA, rise from the ashes, in honor of a trilogy she was writing about a phoenix. And, finally, below that will be the symbol for sexual trauma survivors: this is for both me and, sadly, my little girl. This tattoo as a whole represents despite tragedy and trauma, I can still survive, persevere, and live my life to the best of my ability. I’m still here despite what life has thrown my way. Both good and bad, and somewhere in between, the significant moments define our lives as well as our character. It may have meaning, but each piece represents a different moment in time that intertwine into a swirl of indescribable depth.
Figure 4 Hermione, the only daughter of Hellen of Troy, written in Greek. It means "well-born".
Tattoos with meaning are separate from those in the memorial or moment categories. Put simply, these tattoos are symbols that have a major significance in my life. Take the tattoo on my left upper arm for example. In the center is a yin-yang symbol indicating balance and my constant effort to maintain that balance between work, school, play, family, etc. The five points of a star emerging from the yin-yang represent the Pagan elements of earth, fire, water, air, and spirit. The capital K above these symbols represents my name, KaSaundra. Finally, the dragon wings aflame emerging from it all, encircling the K, expresses my love of fantasy, magic, and imagination. So much meaning interwoven with ink on flesh is difficult to interpret if you’re on the outside looking in. When I got this piece, I wanted something to represent myself: my personality, my beliefs, and things I hold highly in my heart. However, this tattoo is also the only one that I would like to get “updated” as it were. I would like for the entire dragon wings to be on fire, to brighten up the piece and make it more vibrant. This tattoo is one that I want to embody life to the fullest; bright colors and fresh ink that convey a love of life. It’s a unique and interesting set of symbolism that always intrigues people. “What is that? What does it mean? How did you come up with it?” All of these questions have been asked in one form or another and here in my essay I’m making those answers known. You can always learn a lot about a person if you inquire about their tattoos. Sometimes they’re frivolous, heat-of-the-moment snap desires fueled by the need for instant gratification but sometimes the stories one tells about them can have so much meaning.
Tattoos can tell a story. Gaze at the lines of ink and see what words you can derive from them. If you’re nervous or uncomfortable asking the author to explain their story, then simply appreciate the artwork from afar and draw conclusions based on your imagination. Tell your own story in your head; think about all the different reasons or meanings behind each detail. Trust and believe you could be enthralled for hours while trying to decipher one tattoo. There are many things that could contribute to the tattoos a person gets: culture, age, spirituality, life experience, or background. There are so many genres of tattoos that it’s hard for me to pick my favorite. But, if I had to, I’d pick the life experience genre. I love learning and seeing about someone’s life, moments, and experiences. It’s a way to read their stories and get to know them. And I love to share mine in return. But I would only want to share the tales my tattoos tell with those who are genuinely curious about them rather than bore random strangers. There are many I have yet to get and many experiences I have yet to share, but I will in due time. After reading this essay, what do you think about tattoos? If you were to get one, what tattoo would you get? Why? What stories would your tattoos tell?
Works Cited
Karabutt, Christina. Personal communication.
Waldron, KaSaundra. 07 Sep 2008. Author's personal collection.
Waldron, KaSaundra. 04 Sep 2016. Author's personal collection.
Waldron, KaSaundra. 14 Feb 2020. Author's personal collection.
Waldron, KaSaundra. 15 Feb 2023. Author's personal collection..