Fig.1: America is leaving working mothers to have to fend for themselves from: Vanessa Branchi, “America Has Been Failing Mothers for a Long Time. The Pandemic Made It Clear What Needs to Happen” time.com, AUGUST 6, 2020
My mom always told me that things never pan out the way we want them; it's just how life is and there aren't many things we can do about it. At this time a family had just passed away and it was taking its toll on my family and her. But I remember she still had this face of strength and resilience. It was then when she looked at me and said we might not be able to control these things but what we can do is be strong. When she told me this I was still very little and just pretended that I understood and nodded my head. But eventually when I got older I remembered this moment but realized that what she had said meant a lot more than what I thought it did and what it meant to her. When I looked back on this I remembered all of those times I had been sick or hurt and yea she was nervous or scared, but when she came to talk to me she always looked sure of it that I was gonna be alright and that she was gonna be there regardless of what happened. Whenever I thought of strength I thought of her not so much my dad because he wasn’t really there but she was what I thought strong was. My mom is strong because she had to be, life wasn’t easy for her being a single teenage mom with a single mother. Life wasn’t pulling its punches when it came to my mom but that didn’t stop her. It didn’t stop her when it came to going to school or still job hunting and taking every opportunity life gave her. I remember her coming home late because of her job and my nana having to take care of me and my sister. But my mom never missed a chance to say that she loved us and made it clear she was doing this for us. To this day I still try to be a pillar for my mom and let her take a break on being the strong one.
With this in mind why is it that working mothers are constantly faced with financial problems even with holding down a job? When they have to be the pillars of strength for us and yet still have to deal with these problems. In the earlier years of the 1990’s there was once a rise in working mothers but comparing that with today’s economy and support systems it seems that we are only making it even more a challenge for a mother to be able to hold down a job and raise a family. The lack of support in our government has seemed to make everyone forget that these women shouldn’t have to work three jobs to make ends meet while raising a family. Sources show that one of the main reasons for jobless mothers was because of the responsibility of caretaking for their children which with the decision of working part time or unpaid leave could lead to this. The lack of support from our government could lead to a cycle of unemployment and decrease in working moms. Ways that we could start to support working mothers is to implement useful health care as well as improved paid family leave policies so as a way to not discourage the idea of having a job. With the help from our community as well as our government we could easily support our working mothers and encourage them to join the workforce. Estrada 3happened. Whenever I thought of strength I thought of her not so much my dad because he wasn’t really there but she was what I thought strong was. My mom is strong because she had to be, life wasn’t easy for her being a single teenage mom with a single mother. Life wasn’t pulling its punches when it came to my mom but that didn’t stop her. It didn’t stop her when it came to going to school or still job hunting and taking every opportunity life gave her.
I remember her coming home late because of her job and my nana having to take care of me and my sister. But my mom never missed a chance to say that she loved us and made it clear she was doing this for us. To this day I still try to be a pillar for my mom and let her take a break on being the strong one. With this in mind why is it that working mothers are constantly faced with financial problems even with holding down a job? When they have to be the pillars of strength for us and yet still have to deal with these problems. In the earlier years of the 1990’s there was once a rise in working mothers but comparing that with today’s economy and support systems it seems that we are only making it even more a challenge for a mother to be able to hold down a job and raise a family. The lack of support in our government has seemed to make everyone forget that these women shouldn’t have to work three jobs to make ends meet while raising a family. Sources show that one of the main reasons for jobless mothers was because of the responsibility of caretaking for their children which with the decision of working part time or unpaid leave could lead to this. The lack of support from our government could lead to a cycle of unemployment and decrease in working moms. Ways that we could start to support working mothers is to implement useful health care as well as improved paid family leave policies so as a way to not discourage the idea of having a job. With the help from our community as well as our government we could easily support our working mothers and encourage them to join the workforce.
I had the help of my mother by asking her on how and why it has been a tough or difficult journey raising three children all the while still trying to help support and manage a job. I know this person because she is my mother and well it was pretty easy to meet her because she gave birth to me as well as raised me. My mother is currently taking care of my brother and partially me as well as a wife to my stepdad. She also works at a billing office where she works from eight o’clock to five o’clock and comes home and cooks dinner on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Sunday. A personality trait that we share would probably be our short temper and little patience as well as our stubbornness. We both tend to not really want to see the other side of things and believe that we are usually right. I remember when my mom couldn’t make it to one of my award ceremonies which was rare, my mom always went to those things and said that she felt as though she needed to which I never really understood. So I told her that it didn’t really matter and that it was alright but she seemed very sad and upset that she had let me down a little. She told me that she wasn’t going to miss another one or that she was going to send my dad to go and watch and wait for me and the same went for my brother. I still don’t really understand to this day why she was so upset that she couldn’t make it, I understood that she had work to do and that things needed to be taken care of so it didn’t really matter to me but regardless she promised not to miss another.
Not enough people really know what mothers have to do and what sacrifices they sometimes have to make in order to help their children have a better life or if the sacrifice in all is for their child. One of the interesting things in my article was how it spoke of an instance where the person exclaimed. “Her bosses didn’t want to hear about her issues at home. ‘I could never say I wanted to see my child’s first-grade play. I had to say, ‘I’m sorry, I have another meeting.” This really emphasizes on the fact that some of the choices that mothers make are really in the end for their sons or daughters. She is important to me because she has done and sacrificed a lot in the hopes of helping me have a better future, and now I want to see what mothers all across truly face in their decisions between life and their family and the sacrifices they are willing to make for their family.
My mom also looks up to the first lad of this country as a motherly role model. First Lady Michelle Obama is still at the end of the day is the day a mother to her children and wife. I decided she would be one of the best fits for this because of how she managed to keep a family intact while taking on being the first lady to the president. Not only did she have the dedication to keep a family together but to also help with our country. In an interview with Liz Vaccariello she states that, “You can be a good mom and still work out, get your rest, have a career - or not. My mother encouraged me to find that balance”(Vaccariello). With this quote I thought about how it applied to my mom and how whether or not she felt as though she was being forced to give up certain things. Or if any moms for that matter felt as though they didn’t have the support of feeling free to have a family as well as continue pursuing their aspirations.
After looking at this interview my interview with my mother came up and gave me an all new perspective on my paper. As my mom came in her scrubs just from taking my brother to the doctor after a long day at work she looked at me and said, “Oh yea you wanted to ask me some stuff,” which I told her just a couple of questions and we sat down. As she sat down in our living room and turned the Tv off she looked at me waiting for the questions. My mom sat down in her favorite chair still in her scrubs from work which were her favorite color all black. So I had asked the first question of things that related to the government like, “Who do you think has the power to change how we support our mothers financially?” And already I could see that she was getting excited about the questions in the way her eyebrows perked up. She told me that it was our governor and president and all of the above to which she went on a tangent on how they needed to help the working moms. “Well all of the above except the mayor I don’t think he can do much,” she said as she laughed at her joke as she got up from her chair to go make dinner. I had noticed that she hadn’t even been sitting for a whole ten minutes before going to make dinner. She explained to me that she couldn’t just sit, she had dinner to make and things to do. I told her that she didn’t need to and she could just wait but she just waved me off, not out of anger but out of focus.
My mom is a woman of focus but in certain times I can see a caring and loving mother and either way I find that she is the reason I find that we should all be advocated in moving towards helping our working mothers. My mother didn’t really have many choices as a young working mother, she had my sister and immediately had to worry about having a family as well as finish school which she didn’t quite understand. After school it wasn’t too soon to where she realized she would need a job to take care of herself and her daughter. Luckily my nana was able to help but then later down the road I was born to which my mom realized her one job as a server wasn’t going to cut it. I remember my mom often coming home from one job with an apron and quickly changing into something else almost instantaneously and telling us she loved us and going back to work.
Throughout the start of her career she held down two jobs at once and was always looking for more, always wanting to do better. But people always looked down on her because of the fact she worked so much and blamed that she should have waited or that she should be home raising us. These people are the same that also shamed her for being a young mother as if she always intended this. But she didn’t care; she knew that those things happened and what she needed to do now was provide and take care of her family. In the beginning it was serving at an old restaurant and soon it was working at the mall while also working at a community school, my mom was quick to take opportunities that would benefit her family and was not in the slightest slow to take a good job when seen. She eventually held a job as a dispatcher for a while but left the job because she told me she wanted something calm and steady.
She said that after all of that time providing for us at home with meals and making sure we were healthy and got to school on time all while holding down jobs to pay for the clothes and food we needed as well as the bills she needed to pay. So my mom wanted to settle down and have a final job that she said she wouldn’t leave and just be satisfied with and now instead of her changing into three different costumes like a performer she now comes home in her all black scrubs as happy as can be.
Fig. 2: The weight of the payments and troubles the world puts on a family: from Eugenia Mello, “The Unspeakable Cost of Parenthood” nytimes.com, Aug. 27, 2019
Work Cited
Claire, Cain M., and Ernie Tedeschi. "Single Mothers Surge at Work: [Business/Financial Desk]." New York Times, May 31, 2019. ProQuest, https://search-proquest-com.ezproxy.imperial.edu/docview/2232317264?accountid=38876.
Cooper, Marianne. “Mothers' Careers Are at Extraordinary Risk Right Now.” The Atlantic, Atlantic Media Company, 1 Oct. 2020, www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2020/10/pandemic-amplifying-bias-against-working-mothers/616565/. Dastagir, Alia E. "Mothers Feel Pressured on the Pedestal." Usa Today, May 10, 2019. ProQuest, https://search-proquest-com.ezproxy.imperial.edu/docview/2264364151?accountid=38876.
Evans, Lesley. OgdenApr. 10, 2019, et al. Working Mothers Face a 'Wall' of Bias-but There Are Ways to Push Back. 11 Apr. 2019, www.sciencemag.org/careers/2019/04/working-mothers-face-wall-bias-there-are-ways-push-back.
Glynn, Sarah Jane and Katie Hamm. The Economics of Caregiving for Working Mothers. 19 Dec. 2019, www.americanprogress.org/issues/early-childhood/reports/2019/12/10/478387/economics-caregiving-working-mothers/.
Jones, Tracy. "Era of the Woman? Well, Yes and no: Women in Northeast Florida make Big Strides in Working Lives; Not so Much in Health Care and Access to Education, Stats show." Florida Times Union, Mar 24, 2013. ProQuest, https://search-proquest-com.ezproxy.imperial.edu/docview/1327501873?accountid=38876.
Vaccariello, Liz. “Michelle Obama's Rules for Staying Healthy and Happy.” Prevention, Prevention, 10 June 2019, www.prevention.com/life/a20446165/how-michelle-obama-stays-healthy/.